PAGE 55.
CHAPTER SEVEE.
A Mad Tea-Party
Der wos a table set out under a tree in frunt ov de 'owse,an de March'are
an de 'atter wer 'avin der tea arrit: a Dormowse wos sittin between dem,
fast asleep,an de udder two wer yewzin irraz a kushon,restin der elboez
on it,an tawkin over its 'ead. "Very uncumfertabul for de Dormowse,"
thawt Alice; "only it's asleep,an I sunpoze it doan mind."
De table wos a large won,burrorl three wer krowded togedder at won
korner orrit. "No room! No room!" Dey kride out wenn dey sor Alice cummin
"Derz*plennya room!" sed Alice indignantly,an she sat down in a large arm
-cher at won end ov de table.
" 'ave sum wine," de March 'are sed in an enkuragin tone.
Alice lewked orl rownd de table but der wernt nothin on it but tea.
"I doan see eny wine," she remarked.
"Der aint non," sed de Merch 'are.
"Den it wosn very civil ov yew ter offer it," sed Alice angrily.
"It wosn Very civil ov ye ",' ter sit dow; '_'_‘ iddvnt bein invited," sed de
de March 'are.
"I dinnt no ‘.',f irrwos *yor teble,“ sed Alice: "It's lade out for e lot
mor damn three."
~ "Yer 'air ‘,'¢’ antz kuttin," sed de 'atter. 'E 'ad been gozzin at Alice
for sum tire vid grate kuriosi3y,an diss wos 'iz ferst sbeech.
"Yew shud lern not ter be so persunal," Alice sed wid sum severity:
"it's ded rude."
De 'atter opened 'iz eyez very wide on 'earin diss;burrorl 'e*sed wos
"Why is_a raven like a riti:-desk?"
"Cum,we shall 'ave sum fun now!" thawt Alice. "I'm glad dey've begun
askin riddelz - I beleeve I kin gess dat,"she added alowd.
"D'yew meen dat yew tink yew kin find out de anser to it,"sed de
March 'are.

PAG2 39.
"ibézakly so," sed Alice.
"Den yew shud say wot yer xeen," de larch 'ere '.~,' enn on.
"I do," Alice 'astily replied; "at leest - at leest I meen worri say -
det's de same ting,yunnow."
"Not de same ting a bit!" sed de 'etter. "Why,yew mite just az well say
dat 'I see worri eet' is de same ting az 'I eet worri see'!"
"Yew mite just ez well sey dat,"added de Harch 'are, "dat 'I like worri
get' is de same ting ez ‘I get worri like'!"
"Yew mite just az wellsay," added de Dormowse,witch seemed ter be tawk-
in in its sleep, "dat 'I breeth wenn I sleep' is de same ting az 'I sleep
wenn I breeth'!"
"Irriz de same ting wid yew," sed de 'atterren 'ere de konversayshun
dropped,an de orl sat silent for e minnit,wile Alice thawt over orl she
kud reemember ebowt ravenz an ritin-deskz,witch wernt much.
De 'etter wos de ferst ter brake de silence. "Wot day ov de munth is it?"
he sed,ternin to Alice: 'e 'ad taken 'iz wotch arrov 'iz pockit,anwos
lukkin arrit uneezily,shakin irrevery now an denn,an 'oldin it to 'iz ear.
Alice konsidered a littel,andenn sed, "De forth."
"Two dayz rong!" sighed de 'atter. "I tole yer butter wudden soot de
werkz!" 'e added, lewkin angrily at de March 'are.
"It wos de *best butter," de March 'are meekly replied.
;"Yeh,but sum krumz mussta gorrin az well," de 'atter grumbelledz "Yew
shuddna purrit in widd de bred-nife."
De March 'are tuk de wotch an lewked arrit gloomily;denn 'e dipped irrin
'iz kuppa tea,an lukked arrit agenn: burrie kudden tink ov nothin ter say
berrer dann 'iz ferst remark, "It wos de *best butter,yunnow."
Alice 'ad been lukkin over 'iz showlder widd sum kuriosity. "Warra
funny wotch!" she remarked."It tellz de day ov de munth,an duzen tell wot
o'clok irriz!"
"Why shud it?" muttered de 'atter. "Duz*yor wotch tell yew wot yeer irriz?"
"A korse not," Alice replied very reddily:"but datz kuz it stayz de
same yeer for such a long time tergedder."

PAGE 40.
"Witch iz just de kase widd *mine," sed de 'atter.
Alice felt ded puzzelled. De 'atterz remark seemed to 'er to 'ave no
sawra meenin in it,an yerrit wos sertunly Inglish. "I doan kwite unnefstand
yew," she sed,az politely az she kud. I
"De Dormowse is asleep agenn," sed de 'atter,an 'e porred a littel 'ot
tea on its noze.
De Dormowse shuk its 'ead impashuntly,an sed,widdout ope'nin its eyez,
"A korse,a korse: juss worri wos goin ter rewark meself."
`" ‘Ave yew gessed de riddel yet?" de 'atter sed,ternin ter Alice agenn.
"Nah,I giv irrup," Alice replied. "Wotz de anser?"
"I 'event de foggiest idea," sed de 'atter.
"Nor I," sed de March 'are.
Alice sighed weerily. "I tink yew mite do sumtin berrer wid de time,"
she sed, "dann westin irrin askin riddelz darrav no anserz."
"If yew new Time az well az I do," sed de 'atter, "yer wudden tawk
abowt wastin *it. It's *'im."
"I doan now wotyew meen," sed Alice.
"A korse yew dont," de 'atter sed,tossin 'iz 'ead kontemchusly. "I der
say yew nevver even spoke ter Time!"
"Perrapz not," Alice korshusly replied; "burri now I 'aveter beet time
wenn I lern muzik."
` "Ah! Dat akkowntz for it," sed de 'atter. " 'E woan stand beeting.
Now,if yew only kept on 'iz gud side,'e'd do orlmost anytin yew liked wid
de clok. For instance,suppoze it wos nine o'clok in de mornin,just time to
begin lessunz: yew'd only 'aveter wisper a 'int to Time,an rown goez de
clok inna twinklin! 'arfpast won,time for dinna!"
("I only wish it wer," de March 'are sed to itzself inna wisper.)
"Dat wud be grand,sertunly," sed Alice thawtfully; "but denn - I shuddin
be 'ungry for it,yunnow like."
"Norrat ferst,perrapz," sed de 'atterz "but yew kud keep it to 'arfpast
won az long az yew liked."

\
PAGE ul.
"Is dat de way *yew manidge?" Alice asked.
De 'atter shuk 'iz 'ead mornfully. "Norri!" 'e replied. "We kwarrelled
last March - just befor *'e went mad,yunnow ---- " (pointin widd 'iz teaspewn
at de March 'are,) " ---- irrwoz at de grate konsert given by de Kween ov
'artz,an I 'adter sing
* Twinkel,twinkel,littul bat!
'Ow I wunder wot yor at!"
"Yunnow de song doyeray?"
"I've herd sumtin like it," sed Alice.
"It goezon,yernow," de 'atter kontinyewed,"in diss way:--
* Up above de werld yew fly,
Like a tea-tray in de sky.
Twinkel,twinkel---"
'Ere de Dormowse shuk itzself an began singin innitz sleeo"*Twinkel,
twinkel,twinkel,twinkel ---- " an wenn on so long dat dey 'ad to pinch it
to make it stop.
"Well, I'd 'ardly finished de ferst verse," sed de 'atter, "wenn de
Kween bawlled out,'E'z murdrin de ti;e! Off wid 'iz 'ead!' "
" 'Ow dredfully savidge!" eksclaimed Alice.
; "An ever since dat," de 'atter wenn on inna mornful tone," 'E woan do
a ting I ask! It's orlwayz sixa clok now."
A brite idea came into Alicez 'ead. "Is dat de reezun so meny tea-tingz
are purrout 'ere?" she asked.
"Yes,datz it," sed de 'atter wid a sigh: "It's orlwayz tea-time,an weev
no time to wash de tingz between wilez."
"Denn yew keep moovin rownd,I suppoze?" sed Alice.
"Eggzakly so," sed de 'atterz "az de tingz get uzed up."
"But worrappenz wenn yew cum to de beginnin agenn?" Alice ventured to ask.
"suppoze we change de subjekt," de March 'are interrupted,yawnin. "I'm
gerrin tired ov diss. I vote de yung gerl tellz uz a story."

PAGE ME.
"Ifm afrade I doan now won," sed Alice,radder alarmed at de propozal.
"Denn de Dormowse shall!" dey both kride. "Wake up,Dormowse!"
An dey pinched irron both sidez at wonce.
De Dormowse slowly opened its eyez. "I wosn asleep," it sed inna 'orse,
feebel voice, "I herd every werd yew lot wer sayin."
"Telluz a story!" sed de March 'are.
"Yes,pleeze do lar!" pleeded Alice.
"An be kwick abarrit," added de 'atter, "or yew'll be asleep agenn
befor it's dunn."
"Wonce upon a time der wer three sisterz," de Dormowse began inna grate
'urry; "an der namez wer Elsie,Lacie,an Tillie; an dey lived at de bottum
ov a well ---- "
"Wot did dey live on?" sed Alice,'oo orlwayz tuk a grate intrest in
kwestchunz ov eetin an drinkin.
"Dey lived on treekel," sed de Dormowse,after tinkin a minnit or two.
"Dey kuddena dunn dat,yunnow," Alice sed ded gentul like. "dey'da
been ill."
"So dey wer," sed de Dorwowse; " *very ill."
Alice tried a littel to fancy
to 'erself wot sucha ekstraordinry way ov
livin wud be like,burrit puzzelled 'er to much: so she wenn on: "But why
did de live at de bottum ov a well?"
~ "Ta e sun mor tea,"de Harsh 'are sed to Allc:,ernestly.
"I've 'ad nothin yet," Alice replied inns offended tone: "so I karnt
take mor."
"Yew meen yew Karnt take *less," sed de 'atterz "it's ded eezy ter
take *nor dann nothin."
"Nobody asked *yor opinyun,"
" 'ooz makin persunal remarkz
Alice dinnt kwite now wot ter
ed Alice.
now?" de 'atter asked triumfanly.
say ter diss: so she 'elped 'erself to
sum tea an bred-an-butter,an denn terned ter de Dormowse,an repeeted 'er
kwestchun. "Why did dey live at de bottum ov a well?"

PAGE MZ.
De Dorxowse agen: tak , xinnit or two ter tink abowt it,an denn sed
"It wos a treekel-well."
"Derz no such ting!" Alice wos gettin ded narked,but de 'atter an de
March 'are went "Sh! Sh!" an de Dormowse sulkily remarked "It yew karnt
be civil,yew'd berrer finish de story for yorself."
"No,pleeze go on!" Alice sed ded 'umbel. "I woan innerupt yew agenn.
I der say der may be *won.
"Won,indeed!" sed de Dormowse indignantly. 'Owever,'e konsented ter go
on. "An so deez three littel sisterz - dey wer lernin ter draw,yunnow ---- "
"Wot did dey draw?" sed Alice,kwite forgettin 'er promise.
"Treekel," sed de Dormowse,widdout konsidrin arrall,diss time.
  "I wanna Kleen cup," innerupted de 'atterr "Letz orl moov won place on."
'E mooved on az 'e spoke,an de Dormowse follied 'imz de March 'are moov-
ed into de Dormowsez place,an Alice radder unwillinly tuk de place ov de
March Fare. De 'atter wos de only won 'oo gorreny advantidge from de
change;an Alice wos a gud deel werse off dann befor,az de March 'are 'ad
just upset de milk-jug into 'iz plate.
Alice dinnt wish to offend de Dormowse agenn,so she began very korshus-
ly: "Burri doan unnerstand. wer did dey draw de treekel from?"
"Yewkin draw warter arrova warter-well," sed de 'atter; "so I shud tink
yew kud draw treekel arrova treekel-well - eh,stewpid?"
Q "But dey wer *in de well," Alice sed ter de Dormowse,not chewzin ter
notice diss last remark.
"Ov korse dey wer,"sed de Dormowse: "well in."
A Diss anser so konfuzed pore A1ice,dat she let de Dormowse go on for sum
time widdout inneruptin it.
"Dey wer lernin to draw," de Dormowse wenn on,yornin an rubbin its eyez,
for it wos gettin dogtired; "an dey drew orl sortza tingz - everytin dat
beginz widd a M ---- "
"Why widd a M?" sed Alice.
"Why not?" sed de March 'are.

PAGE 44.
Alice wos silent.
De Dormowse 'ad clozed its eyez by diss time,anwos goin off into a
doze;but,on bein pinched by de 'atter; it woke up agenn widd a littel
shreek,an wenn on: "---dat beginz widd a M,such az mowsetrapz,an de moon,
an memry,an muchness - yew now yew say tingz are 'much ov a muchness' -
d'yer ever see such a ting az a drawin ov a muchness?"
"Reely,now yor askin," sed Alice,ded Konfewsed,"I doan tink ---- "
"Dean yew shudden tawk," sed de 'atter.
Diss birra roodness wos mor dann Alice kud take: she gorrup inna big
'uff,an warked offzde Dormowse fell asleep instanly,@n neider ov de udderz
tuk de leest birra notice ov 'er goin,doe she lukked back wonce or twice,
'arf'opin dat dey wud call after 'ers de last time she saw dem,dey wer
tryin to put de Dormowse into de teapot.
"Arreny rate I'll nevver go *der agenn!" sed Alice,az she pikked 'er
way threw de wudd. "It's de stewpidest tea-party I ever wos at inorl me life!"
Just az she sed diss,she seen dat wonna de treez 'ad a door leedin rite
into it, "Datz a bit kurius!" she thawt. "Burr everytinz kurius ter-day.
I tink I mirraz well go in at zonce." 1.-' An in she went.
Wonce mor she fownd 'erself in de long 'all,an close to de littel glass
table. "Now,I'll manidge berrer diss time," she sed to 'erself,an began by
takin de littel golden key,an unlokkin de door dat led inta de gardin.
Denn she set ter werk nibbelin at de mushroom (sheed kept a peece ov it in
'er pockit) till she wos abarra foot 'igh;denn she warked down de littel
passidge: an *denn - she fownd 'erself at last in de luvly gardin,amung de
brite flower-bedz an de kool fowntanez.
CHAPTER EIGHT
De Kweenz Krokay-Grownd,
A large rose~tree stud neer de entrance ov de gardin:de rosez growin on it
wer wite,but der wer three gardinerz arrit,bizzily paintin dem red. Alice
thawt diss a very kurius ting,an she went neerer ter wotch dem,she herd won

PAGE 45.
ov dem say "Lewk out now,Five! Donn go splashin paint over me like dat!"
"I kudden 'elo it," sed Five,inna sulky tone. "Seven jogged me elbo."
On witch Seven lewxed up an sed "Datz rite,Five! Orlweyz blemin udderz!"
*"Yew Karnt tewk!" sed Five. "I herd de Kween say ony yisterdy yew
dezerved ter be be'eaded."
"Wot for?" sed de won 'oo 'ad spoke ferst.
"Datz non ov *yor bizzness,Two!" sed Seven.
"Yiss,irr *is 'iz bizzness!" sed Five. "An I'll tell 'im - it wos for
bringin de kook tewliu-rootz instedda unyonz."
Seven flung down 'iz brush,en 'ed just begun "Well,ov orl de unjust
tingz ---- " wenn 'e snotted Alice,az she stud wotchin dem,an 'e chekked
'imself suddunly: de udderz luxked rown orlso,an orla dem bowed low.
"Wud yew tell me ledz," sed Alice,a bit timid like, "why yer naintin
doze rosez?"
Five an Seven sed nothin,but lewked at Two. Two begen,inna low voice,
"Why,de ting is,yew see,gerl,diss 'ere orterra been a*red rose-tree,an we
nurra Wite won by mistake;an if de Kween wos ter find out,we shud orl 'ave
arr 'eadz kut off,yunnow. So yew see,gerl,wer doin err best,afor she cumz,
ter ---- " At diss momint,Five,'ooed been ankshusly lukkin exross de gardin,
called out "De Kween! De Kween!" an de three gardinerz instanly threw dem-
selvez flat upon der facez. Der wos a sownda meny footstepz,an Alice lewk
-ed rownd,eeger to see de Kween.
Ferst came ten sodjerz kerryin klubbz: deez wer orl shaped like de three
gardinerz,oblong an flat,wid der 'anz an feet at de kornerz: nekst de ten
kortyerz: deez wer ornamented orl over wid dimondz,an werked two an two,
az de sodjerz did. After deez came de royal kidz: der wer ten ov dem,an
de littel deerz came jumpin merrily along,end in and,in kupelz: dey wer
orl ornamented wid 'ertz. Nekst came de gestz,mostly Kingz an Kweenz,an
amung dem Alice rekognized de Wite Rabbit: it wos tawkin inna 'urried
nervuss manner,smi1in at everytin dat wos sed,an went by widdout noticin
'er. Den follied de Neve ov 'artz,karryin de Kingz krown on a krimsun

PAGE #6,
velvet kushun: an,lest ov orl in diss grand 9roseshun,came DE KING AF
DE KWEEH OV 'ARTZ.
Alice wos radder dowtful wedder she ort not to lie down on 'er face
like de three 5ardinerz,but she kudden reemember ever 'avin herd ov such
a rool at proseshunz; "an besidez,wot wud be de yewse ov a proseshun,"
thawt she, "if peeple 'ad orl ter lie down on der facez,so dey kudden see
it?" So she stud wer she wos,an waited.
Wenn de prosesnun came oppozit to Alice,dey orl stopped an lukked arr'er,
an de Kween sed,seveerly " 'Oo is diss?" She sed it to de Have ov 'artz,
'oo only bowed an smiled in reply.
"Ideot!" sed de Kween,tossin'er 'ead impashuntly;an,ternin to Alice,
she wenn on: " `V`.' otz yor name,kiddo?"
"Me name is Alice,so pleeze yor Hajisty,
added,to 'erself, "Yhy,der ony a jsche hard
afrade ov dem!"
"An 'oo arr deez?" sed de Kween,pointin
lyin rownd de rose-tree;for,yew see,az de;
pattern on der backz wos de sage az de rest
wedder dey ner »;' ¢ardinerz,or sodjer7,or Lort
" 'Ow shud I now," sed Alice,suprized ar
bizzness ov *mine."
sed Alice
,after orl
~ ,\_\_.
O C18 L,1if`E§@
er lyin on
ov de pack,
ded polite; but she
I needunt be
gardinerz 'oo wer
der facez,an de
she kud not tell
erz,or three ov 'er own kidz.
'er own hurrid e. "It's no
LI
De Kween terned krimsun wid fury,an,after glarin err'er for a momint
like a wild beest,began skreemin "Off wid 'er 'ead! Off wid-~--"
"Nonsense!" sed Alice,very lowdly an desididly,an de Kween wos silent.
De
Onya kid!"
sheez
King lade 'iz 'and upon 'er arm,an timidly sed "Konsider me luv:
De Kween terned angrily away from 'im,an sed to de Have "Tern 'em over!"
De Nave did so,ded kerfly,wid won foot.
"Gerrup!" sed de Kween inna shrill,lowd voice,an de three gardinerz
instanly jumped up,an began bowin to de King,de Kween,de royal kidz,
an everybody else. A

PAGE M7.
"Leeve off dat!" skreemed de Kween. "Yew make me giddy." An denn,
ternin ter de rose-tree,she wenn on "wot *'ave yew been doin 'ere?"
"May it pleeze yor Najisty," sed Two,inna very 'umbel tone,goin down
on won nee az 'e spoke, "we wos tryin ---- "
*"I see!" sed de Kween,'ooed meenwile been eggzaminin de rosez. "Off
wid der 'eadz!" an de proseshun mooved on,three ov de sodjerz remained
be'ind ter eksykute de unfortunate gardinerz,'oo ran to Alice for protekshun.
"I’ll see de doan 'ert yer ladz,yew woan luze yer 'eadz,wile I'm 'ere!"
sed Alice,an she purrem into a large flower-pot dat stud neer. De three
sodjerz wondered abowt for a minnit or two,lukkin for dem,an denn kwietly
marched off after de udderz.
"Arr der 'eadz Off?" showted de Kween.
"Der 'eadz arr gon,if it pleeze yer Majisty!" de sodjerz showted in reply.
"Datz rite!" sbowted de Kween. "Kin yew play krokay?"
De sodjerz wer silent,an lewked arr Alice,az de kwestchun wos evidently
ment for 'er.
"Yiss!" showted Alice.
"Cum on,denn!" rored de Kween,an Alice joined de proseshun,wundrin very
much wot wud ’appen nekst.
"It's a luvly day!" sed a timid voice arr'er side. She wos warkin by
de Wite Rabbit,'oo wos peepin ankshusly into 'er face.
° "Very," sed Alice. "Werz de Dutchess?"
" 'Ush! 'Ush!" sed de Rabbit inna low 'urried tone. 'E lukked ankshusly
over 'iz showlder az 'e spoke,an denn razed 'imself upon tiptoe,purriz
mowt close to 'er 'ear,an wispered "Sheez under sentunce ov eksykushun."
"Wot for?" sed Alice.
"Did yew say 'worra pity!'?" de Rabbit asked.
"Nah,I dinnt," sed Alice. "I doan tink it's arrorl a pity. I sed'Wot for?'
"She boxed de Kweenz earz ---- " de Rabbit began. Alice gave a littel
skreem ov laffter. "Oh,'ush!" de Rabbit wispered inna fritened tone. "De
Kween will 'ear yew! Yew see,she cum ded late,an de Kween sed ---- "

PAGE 48.
"Get to yor placez!" showted de Kween inna voice ov thunder,an peeple
began runnin every witch way,tumbelin up aganest eech udder: 'owever dey
got settuled down inna minnit or two,an de game began.
Alice thawt sheed nevver seen such a kurius krokay-grownd in 'er life:
irrwos orl ridgez an furroez: de krokay ballz wer live 'edge'ogz,an de
malletz live flamingoez,an de sodjerz 'ad ter dubbel demselvez up an stand
on der 'anz an feet,ter make de archez.
De werst ting Alice fownd et ferst wos in manidgin 'er flamingo: she
sukseeded in gettin its body tukked away,kumfy like,unner 'er arm,widd its
legz 'angin down,but genrully,jussez sheed gorritz nekk nicely stratuned
out,anwos goin ter giv de 'edge'og a blow widd its 'ead,it *wud twist itz-
self rownan lewk up in 'er face,widd such a puzzeled ekspreshun dat she
kudden 'elp berstin out laffin;an,wenn sheed gorritz 'ead down,anwos goin
ter begin agenn,irrwos very provokin to find dat de 'edge'og 'ad unrolled
itzself,anwos in de akt ov krawlin away: besidez orl diss,der wos genrully
a ridge orra furroe in de way wennever she wanned ter send de 'edge'og to,
an,az de dubbeled up sodjerz wer orlwayz gettin up an warkin off to udder
partz ov de grownd,Alice soon came to de konxlewshun darrit wos a very
diffikult game indeed.
De playerz orl played at wonce,widdout takin ternz,kwarrelin orl de time,
an fitin for de 'edge'ogz;an in no time arrorl de Kween wos inna rite owld
tehper,an went stampin abowt,an showtin "Off widd 'iz 'ead!" or "Off widd
'er 'ead!" abarr wonce a minnit.
Alice began ter feel ded uneezy:shur,she 'adden yet 'ad a barney widd
de Kween,but she new it mite 'apoen eny minnit. "An denn," thawt she, "wot
wud becum ov me? De doan 'arf like be'eadin peeple 'erez itzsa wunder
derz enywon left alive!"
She wos gozzin arownd for sum way ter escape,an wundrin wedder she kud
gerraway widdout bein seen,wen she noticed a kurius appeerunce in de air:
it puzzeled 'er a lorrat ferst,burr after wotchin irra minnit or two she
seen irrwos a grin,an she sed to 'erself "It's de Cheshire-Cat: now I shal
l

'ave sumbody ter tawk to."
PAGE 49.
" 'Ow’yer doin?" sed de Moggy,az soon az der wos mowt enuff for it to
speke widd.
Alice waited till de eyez appeered,an den nodded. "It's no yewse
spekin to it,"she thawt, "till its earz 'ave cum,orrat leest wonna dem."
In
an
to
no mor ov it appeered.
anudder minnit de ‘ole 'ead appeered,an denn Alice put down 'er flamingo,
began an akkownt ov de game,feelin ded glad she 'ad sumwon to lissen
'er. De Moggy seemed ter tink dat der wos enuff ov it now in site,an
"I doan tink de play fer,"Alice began,in radder a komplanin tone, "an
de
kworrel so bad ya karn 'ear yerself speke - an de doan seem ter'ave eny
sawrra roolz: or if der is,nobody takez eny notice ov'em - an yew've no
idea 'ow konfewsin irriz orl de tingz bein alive:like,derz de arch I gorra
go threw nekst
warkin abarrat de udder end ov de grownd - an I shudda
krokayed de Kweenz 'ed5e'og juss now,ony it ran away wenn it saw mine cumin!"
" 'Ow d'yer
"Norrarrorl," sed Alice: "sheez so ekstreemly-~" Just denn
dat de Kween wos so close be'ind 'ef,lissnin:so she wennon
win,darritz 'ardly werth finishin de gaze."
like de Kween?" sed de Moggy inna low voice.
she noticed
"--likely ter
De Kween smiled an passed on.
_ " 'Oo *arr yew tawkin to?" sed de Kin;,c;n;in up ter Alice,an lewkin
a€ de Foggyz 'ead widd grate kuriosity.
"It's a frend ov mine - a Cheshire-Cat," sed Alice: "Lemmee intrajewse it."
"I doan like de luk; arrit arrorl," sed de King: " 'Owever,it may kiss
me 'and if it likez."
"I'd radder not," de Loggy re arked.
"Doan be cheeky," sed de King, "an doan lewk at he like dat!"
'E got be'ind Alice az 'e spoke.
"A Moggy may eyeball a King," sed Alice
burri doan reexember wer."
"Well it must be remooved," sed de King
"I've red darrin sum buwk,
ver* desididly'an 'e called
7

P1122 50.
to de Kween 'oo was casein at de ;:;int,"Ie luv! I wish yew wud 'ave
diss 'ere Moggy remooved!“
De Kween 'ad ony won way ov sortin tingz out,big or small. "Off widd
'iz 'ead!" she sed widdout even lewkin rownd.
"I'll get de eksykushuner meself," sed de king eegerly,an 'e 'urried off
Alice thawt she mirraz well go beck an see 'ow de game wos goin on,an
she herd de Kweenz voice in de distunce,skreemin widd pashun. Sheed
orlreddy herd 'er sentunce three ov de playerz to be eksykuted for 'avin
missed der ternz,an she dinn like de lukk ov tingz arrorl,az de game wos
in such a mess dat she nevver new wenn it wos 'er tern or not. So she wenn
off in serch ov 'er 'edge'og. V
De 'edge'og wos 'avin a fite widd anudder 'edge'og,witch seemed to Alice
a gud time for krokayin won ov dem widd de udderzde ony ting wos,darr'er
flamingo wos gon akross ter de udder side ov de gardin,wer Alice kud see
it tryin inna 'elpless sawra way ter fly up into a tree.
_ By de time sheed kort de flamingo an brort it back,de fite wos over,
an both de 'edge'ogz wer arrov site. "Burrit duzen marrer much," thawt
Alice, "az orl de archez arr gon from diss sidda de grownd." So she tukked
irraway unner 'er arm,so it woan gerraway agenn,an went back to chinwag
to 'er frend. ,
Wenn she got back to de Cheshire-Cat,she wos suprized to find kwite a
large krowd collekted rownd it: der wos a dispute goin on between de eksy
-kushuner,de King,an de Kween,'oo wer orl tawkin at wonce,wile orl de rest
wer kwite silent,an lewked ded uncumftabul.
De momint Alice appeered,she wos asked by orl three to settul de kwest-
chun,an dey repeeted der argumentz to 'er,doh,az dey orl spoke at wonce,
she fownd it ded 'ard ter make out eggzakly wot dey sed.
De eksykushunerz argument wos,dat yew kudden cut off a 'ead unless der
wos a body ter cut irroff from: darryad nevver 'ad ter do such a ting
befor,an 'e wosn gunna begin arr *'iz time ov life.
De Kingz argument woe dat enytin darradda 'ead kud be be'eaded,an dat

PAGE 51.
yew wernt ter tawk nonsense.
De Kweenz argument wos dat,if sumtin wosn dun abarrit ded Kwik like,
sheed 'ave everybody eksykuted,orl rownd. (lt wos diss last remark darrad
made de 'ole lorra dem lukk so grave an ankshus.)
Alice kud tinka nothin else ter say but "It belongz to de Dutchess:
yew'd berrer ask *'er abarrit."
"Sheez in prizon," de Kween sed to de eksykushuner: "fetch 'er 'ere."
An de eksykushuner wenn off like an arrer.
De Moggyz 'ead began fadin away de momint 'e wos gon,an,by de time 'e
cum back widd de Dutchess,irrad entirely disanpeered: so de King an de
eksykushuner ran wild up an down,lewkin for it,wile de rest ov de party
went back to de game.
CHAPTER NINE,
De Mock Tertulz Story.
"Yew karnt tink 'ow glad I am ter see ye '.'.' agenn,me owld mate!" sed de
Dutchess,az she tukked 'er arm ded pally like into Alicez,an dey warked
off togedder.
Alice wos very glad to find 'er inna gud mood,an thawt to 'erself dat
perrapz irrwos ony de pepper darrad made 'er so savidge wenn de met in de
lift chin .
"Wenn *I'm a Dutchess," she se to 'erself (norrina very 'opeful tone,
doh), "I woan 'ave eny pepper in me kitchin *arrorl. Soop duz very well
widdout - Maybe it's orlwayz pepper dat makez peeple 'ot-tempered," she
wennon,reely pleezed arr'avin fownd owrra new kinda rool, "an vinnygar
dat makez dem sowr - an Kamomile dat nakez dem bitter - an - an barley-
sugger an such tingz dat make Kidz sweet-tempered. I ony wish dat peeple
new *datz denn dey wudden be so stingy abarrit,yerno ---- "
Sheed kwite forgotten de Dutchess by diss time,anwos a littel start-
uled wenn she herd 'er voice close to 'er ear. "Yor tinkin abowt sumtin,
me gerl,an dat makez yew forget ter tawk. I karnt tell yew just now wot

PAGE 52.
de moral ov dat is,burri shall reemember it inna bit."
"Perrapz irraint got won," Alice ventchured to remark.
"Tut, tut,kiddo!" sed de Dutchess. "Everytinz gorra moral,if ony yew
kin find it." An she skweezed 'erself up closer ter Alicez side az she spoke
Alice dinnt like 'er keepin so close to 'err ferst,kuz she 'ad a face
like de back ov a bus; orlso,kuz she wos eggzakly de rite 'ite ter rest
'er chin on Alicez showlder, an it wos an uncumfitabul sharp chin. 'Owever,
she dinn wanna be rude: so she purrup widd irraz best az she kud.
"De gamez goin a lot berrer now," she sed,ter keen de konversashun goin.
"Yerrinow," sed de Dutchess: "an de moral ov darriz - 'Oh,‘tis luv,
'tis luv,dat makez de werld go rownd!"
"Sumbody sed," Alice wispered, "darritz dunn by everybody mindin der
own bizzness!"
"Ah,well! It meenz much de same ting," sed de Dutchess,diggin 'er sharp
littel chin into Alicez showlder az she added "an de moral ov darriz -
'Take ker ov de sense,an de sowndz will take ker ov demselvez.’"
" 'Ow fond she is ov findin moralz in tingz!" Alice thawt to 'erself.
"I der say yor wundrin why I doan put me arm rownd yor waste," de
Dutchess sed,after a porze: "de reezun is,darrime dowtful abarr de temper
ov yer flamingo. Shall I try de eksperiment?"
" ‘E mite bite," Alice korshusly replied,norrarrorl ankshus to 'ave
de eksperiment tried.
"Ded rite," sed de Dutchess: "flamingoez an mustid both bite. An de
moral ov darriz - 'Berdz ov a fedder flock togedder.'"
"Ony mustid ainna berd," Alice remarked.
"Rite,az yewzyal," sed de Dutchess: "Worra kleer way yerrav ov purrin
tingz!"
"It's a minrul,I *tink," sed Alice.
"Ov korse irriz," sed de Dutchess,'oo seemed reddy ter agree to every
-tin dat Alice sed: "Derz a large mustid-mine neer 'ere. An de moral ov
darriz - 'De mor derriz ov mine,de less derriz ov yorze.'"

PAGE 55.
"Oh,I now!" eksklamed Alice,'oo 'adden tuk a birra notice ov de last
remark. "It's a Vegtabul. it doan lukk like won,burrirriz."
"I kwite agree widd yew," sed de Dutchess; "an de moral ov darriz -
Be wot yew wud seem ter be' - or,if yew'd like it put
'Nevver imagin yorself not ter be udder'ize =_f darn worrit
udderz det wot yew wer or mite 'eve been wos not uéceru
'ad been wud 'ave sieeerci ter dem ter be ud€er:ize.'" ‘.f
"l'§ new rot yer on Pho `2" C," Alice sed very gwlitely
burri kfrnt Evite get de 'any orrit de ‘.',’ ay yer purrit."
"Darraint nothin ter worri kud sey if I wanred,
inns pleezed tone.
mor simply -
mite aopeer to
ize damn wot yew
,"if I'd rit it dovn'
" de Dutchess replied,
"Ch,yer orlrite,doen bodder yerself ter sey irreny longer damn dat,"
sed Alice.
f~
"Gh,doan tawk abarr truLbel!" sed de Dutches . "I make yew a orezent
ov evergti; I'vs sed az yet.
"A cheep sewra prezent‘"tLa t Alice. "I'm Qlad ¢eecle dean giv berthday
-grezentz like dat!" Eut she dint: der sr] irrout lewd.
"Pinkin agesnf" is Dutckeos esked,wid an#‘;>: ii; ov 'er sharp chin.
"I've e rite ter tink," sed Alice shervly,for she wos beginnin ter
feel a littel '_'_f urried.
_"Just abcrraz sue; rite," se; ie Dutchess, "az éigz 'ave ter fly;en de m
`Eut 'ere,to Alicez grate se_erize,de Dutchessez voice died away,even in
de miggel ov 'er favrit werd "
"oral," an de arm dat wos
began ter tresbul. Alice lewked up,an der stud de Kween
'er armz foldid,frownin like a thunderstorm.
"A fine day,yor Majisty," de Dutchess began inna low
"Now I wiv ew fer wornin " showted de Kween,stamnin
9 7
she spoke; "eider
Take yer choyse!"
yew or yor 'ead must be off,an darrin
De Dutchess tewk 'er choyse,an wos gon inna momint.
3
"Letz gerron widd de game," de Kween sed to Alice; an
linked into 'erz
in frunt a dem,wid
week voice.
on de grownd az
abowt 'arf no time!
Alice wos to much

PAGE Eh.
ffitened ter Say a W€Pd,but slowly follied 'er back to de krokay-grownd.
De udder gests 'ad taken advantidge ov de Kweenz absince,an wer restin
in de shade:'owever,de momint dey saw 'er,dey 'urried back ter de game,de
Kween meerly sayin darra momintz delay wud kost dem der livez.
Orl de time dey wer playin de Kween nevver left off kwarrelin wid de
udder playerz,an showtin "Off widd 'iz 'ead!"or "Off widd 'er 'ead!" Doze
'oo she sentunced wer taken into kustidy by de sodjerz,
'oo ov korse 'ad to
leeve off bein archez ter do diss,sodat,by de end ov 'arf an 'owr or so,
der wer no archez left.an orl de playerz,ekseot de King,de Kween,an Alice,
wer in kustidy an under sentunce ov eksykushun.
Den de Kween left off,kwite puffed,an sed ter Alice,
Mock Tertul yet?"
"Nah," sed Alice. "I doan even now worra Mock Tertul
"It's de ting Mock Tertul Soop is made from," sed de
"'Ave yew seen de
is."
Kween.
"I nevver saw won,or herd ov won," sed Alice.
"Cum on,denn," sed de Kween, " an 'e shall tell yew 'iz 'istry."
Az dey warked off togedder,Alice herd de King
say inna low voice,to de
kumpny genrully, "Yerorl pardunned." "Cum,*datz a gud ting!" she sed to
'erself,for she 'ad felt kwite un'anny at de number ov eksykushunz de
Kween 'ad ordered.
_ Ded soon dey came upon a Griffon,lyin
fast asleep in de sun. (If yew
ddan now worra Griffon is,lewk at de pitcher.) "Up,lazy ting!" sed de Kween,
"an take diss yung gerl to see de Iock Tertul,an ter 'ear 'iz 'istry. "I
gorra go back an see abowt sum eksykushunz I ordered";an she warked off,
leevin Alice alone wid de Griffon. Alice
kreecher,burron de 'ole she thawt it wud
az to go after dat savidge Kween: so she
De Griffon sat up an rubbed 'iz eyez:
wos arrov site: denn it chukkelled. "Hot
itzself,'arf to Alice.
"Wot *is de fun?" sed Alice.
dinn like de lukk arrit arrorl de
be just az safe to stay widd it
waited.
denn it wotched de Kween till she
fun!" sed de Griffon,'arf to

A PAGE 55, ,
"Why,*she," sed de Griffon. "It's orl 'er fancy,dat: dey nevver eksy
~kutez nobody,yunnow. Cum on!"
"De orl say'cum on"ere," thawt Alice,az she went slowly after it: "I
nevver wos so ordered abowt befor,in orl me life,nevver!"
Dey 'adden gon far befor de saw de Mock Tertul in de distunce,sittin°
sad an lonely on a littel ledge ov rok,an,az dey got neerer,Alice kud 'ear
'im signin az if 'iz 'art wud brake. She felt ded sorry for 'im. "Worriz
'iz sorro?" she asked de Griffon. An de Griffon anserred,very neerly in de
same werdz az befor, "It's orl 'iz fancy,dat: 'e aint got no sorro,yunnow.
Cum on!"
So dey wenn up to de Mock Iertul,'oo lewked at dem wid large eyez fulla
teerz,but sed nothin.
"Diss 'ere yung gerl," sed de Griffon, " she wantz for ter now yor
'istry,she duz." g I
"I'll tell it to 'er," sed de Mock Iertul inna deep,'ollo tone. "Siddown,
both ov yew,an doan say a werd till I've finished."
So dey sat down,an nobody spoke for sum minitz. Alice thawt to 'erself
"I doan see 'ow 'e kin *ever finish,if 'e doan begin." But she 'ung on
pashuntly.
"Wonce," sed de Mock Tertul at last,wid a deep sigh, "I wos a reel Tertul."
° Deez werdz wer follied by a very long silence,broken ony by an okkazun-
al eksklamashun ov "Hjckrrh!" from de Griffon,an de konstant 'eavy sobbin-
ov de Mock Tertul. Alice wos very neerly gettin up an sayin "Ta lar,for ~
yor intrestin storyy" but she kudden 'elp tinkin der *must be mor ter cum,
so she sat still an sed nothin. I
"Wenn we wos littel," de Mock Tertul wennon at last,mor karmly,doh still
sobbin a bit now an agenn, "we went to skule in de sea. De teecher wos a
owld Tertul - we yewster call 'im Tortoyse---"
"Whyjer call 'im Tortoyse,if 'e wosn won?" Alice asked.
"We called 'im Tortoyse kuz 'e tort uz," sed de Mock Tertul angrily.
"Reely yor ded dull!"

PAGE 56.
"Yew orter be ashamed ov yorself for askin such a simnel kwestchun,"
added de Griffon;an denn dey both sat silent an lukked at pore Alice,'oo
felt reddy ter sink into de erth. At last de Griffon sed to de Mock Tertul
"Drive on,me owld pal! Doan be orl day abarrit!",an 'e wenn on in deez werdz:
"Yiss,we went ter skule in de sea,doh yew mitunt beleeve it---"
"I nevver sed I dinnt!" innerupted Alice.
"Yew did," sed de Mock Tertul.
I "'Old yer tung!" added de Griffon,befor Alice kud speke agenn. De Mock
Tertul wennon. _
"We 'ad de best ov edjewkashunz - in fakt we went to skule everyday---"
*"I've been ter a day-skule,to," sed Alice. "Yew needunt be az big'ead-
ed az orl dat."
"Wid ekstraz?" asked de Mock Tertul,a bit ankshusly.
"Yiss," sed Alice: "We lernt Frensh an mewzik."
"An woshin?" sed de Mock Tertul.
"No chance pal!" sed Alice indignantly.
"Ah! Denn yor skule mussabin ded last," sed de Mock Tertul ded made up.
"Now,at *arrz,dey 'ad,at de end ov de bill 'Frensh,mewzik,*an woshin - ekstr
"Ya kuddenna wanned it much," sed Alice; " livin at de bottum ov de sea."
"I kudden afford ter lern it," sed de Mock Tertul widd a sigh. "I ony
tewk de reglar korse."
9"w<>t woe dat?" inkwired Alice.
"Reelin an writhin,ov korse,ter begin widd," de Mock Tertul replied;
"an denn de diffrunt branchez ov rithetik - Ambishun,Distrakshun,
Uglifikashun,an Derizzshun."
"I nevver herd ov'Uglifikashun,'" Alice ventcnnred ter say, "Worriz it?"
De Griffon lifted up both ov its pdrez in sernrize. "Yevver herd of
uglyfyin!" irr eksklemed. "Yew now wot ter bewtify is,I suppoze?"
"Yiss," sed Alice dowtfully: "it meenz - ter - make - anytin - nrittier."
"Well,denn," de Griffon wennon, "if yer dean now wot to uglify is
yew *arr a simpeltun."
3

FACE 57.
Alice dinnt feel e;xurid_ed ter ask eng nor kwestchunz fbarritzso she
termed ter de Mock tertul,en sed " 'e`K` orrolce did yer'ave ter lern?"
"”ell der ’.'. 'os Xystery," de Nook Tertul replLed,cowntin off de subjekz
on 'iz flapperz, - Hystery,einshunt an modern,widi Seaografy: denn drawlin
- de Drewlin-master woe e owld Kon¢ereel,det yeweter cum wonce e week:
*'e tort uz Drawlin,etretchin,en feintin in koilz."
"Tot woz det like?" sed Alice.
"Yell,l karnt show yer,meself," de lock Tertul sed: "I'x to stiff.
An de Griffon nevver lernt it."
"Addent time," sed de Griffon: "I went ter de klessikal master,doh.
'E wos an owld krab,'e woe."
"I nevver went to 'im," de Mock Tertul sed widd a sigh. "'E tort
Laffin an Greef,dey yewster say."
"So 'e did,so 'e did," sed de Griffon,sighin in 'iz tern; an both
kreetchurz 'id der facez in der oorez.
"An 'ow meny 'owrz e day did yer do leesunz?" sed Alice,inna 'urry ter
change de subjekt.
"Ten'owrz de ferst day," sed de Hook tertul: "nine de nekst,an so on."
"Worra kurius plan!" eksklamed Alice.
"Datz de reezun der kalled lessunz," de Griffon remarked: "kuz dey
lessen from day to day."
` Diss wos Kwite a new idea ter Alice,an she thawt irrover a bit befor
she made 'er nekst remark. "Den de eleventh day mussabin a 'ollyday?"
"Ov korse it wos," sed de Mock Tertul.
"An 'ow did yer manidge on de twelff?" Alice wenn on eegerly.
"Datz enuff abarr lessunz," de Griffon inneruptid inna Very desided
tone. "Tell 'er sumtin aberr de gamez now."